While driving my car today a song came on the radio by Suzy Bogguss. Every time I hear Suzy sing I laugh just a little. If you have no idea who she is please don't mistake her for "Weird" Al Yankovic. She isn't trying to make me laugh. No, the reason I laugh is because of my friend Kenny King.
You see a few years ago Kenny and his wife, Kirsten, convinced Sue and I that we should go to "The Great Minnesota Get Together" (state fair). We went the same day as the Mary Chapin-Carpenter concert. My wife Sue and Kirsten thought it was a good idea. I am still not sure what my role was in any of this, I didn't want to do either of the two activities. But few people consider me a friend and only Sue would be married to me so I willing went on this journey, if only to be a good friend and husband.
The opening act for Mary Chapin-Carpenter was Suzy Boggass. Except Kenny had a mental block and every time he went to say Suzy Bogguss the name came out as Kathy Bogus. After hearing Kenny call her Kathy Bogus several times the name stuck. To me her name changed. If I ever meet Suzy Bogguss I am sure I will call her Kathy.
In grade school a new kid moved to town. Matt Dawson thought he looked like a bird. Nearly everybody called him Bird until we were out of high school. His real name is Bryan Halgremson.
In college I made several new friends. One of them was Jon Willis. He called himself J Dubbs and like Matt Dawson he was excellent at giving out nicknames. The tall skinny kid down the hall became Lanky and it takes me a minute to remember him as Todd Woolf.
It is ever harder to remember the name Tim Anderson. Why because he was from Walnut Grove and that meant we all called him Wally.
During my son Mike's select baseball days he was called "Billy" and we had to warn family when we went to games that when people talked about Billy they were talking about Mike. (That story is too long for me to cover here. It has to do with Caddyshack, his bat and the personality of Bob Pettit.)
From history we have the legend of Thomas Jackson a man born on January 21, 1824 and lived with that plain name for over 37 years. Then at what us Yankees call the First Battle of Bull Run he was nicknamed Stonewall for his bold leadership. He lived for another 2 years as the famous Confederate General Stonewall Jackson before dying at the battle of Chancellorsville. Stonewall Jackson is a legend and nearly everybody is familiar with that name. Monuments have been erected and schools have been name after the Confederate General across the south. It's Stonewall (2 years) not Thomas (37 years) to everybody!!!
It is more than names however. Actions tend to stick as well.
At work we have odd or funny stories about people that stick in our minds and form our impressions of certain people. Often even though we have known somebody for years we still go back in time to a particular incident that is less then flattering to define them in our minds.
Growing up we can remember people labeled for deeds or actions that happened while we were all in grade school. A kid wets his pants in school and he gets labeled. A girls makes one bad choice and everybody labels her.
Maybe the first time you met somebody they said something that cemented your opinion about them.
I have been told that some people think am a witty and clever. Many others think that I am a jerk and find me quite obnoxious. Sometime that is a matter of taste but it also has to the do with the timing of what I said or did. (I need to work on that.)
But my point isn't about making sure that you make a good impression although that is important. My point is about treating people the way you want to be treated.
Before you rush to judgement or lock into what you think of somebody I encourage you to make sure you really know the person. Sometimes that can mean giving people several chances. None of us likes to be labeled. With that in mind I would encourage you to give somebody a second chance. Don't rush to judgement.
Isn't that what we want for ourselves?
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