I spent the day yesterday with a group of people including a friend of mine and his wife. For the sake of protecting the guilty I will change my friends name to Jay and his wife’s name to Bobbi.
Jay and Bobbi are fun. End to end laughs and good times. A model couple. They seem to enjoy being together and make each other better when then they are together.
On the other hand I am more of a trouble maker. I tend to error on the side of giving people too hard of a time. Some call it needling others just think I’m mean.
At one point during the day I held the door open for the two them and Jay quickly walked in the building ahead of Bobbi. I commented “ladies, first.” For the rest of the day the entire group gave Jay a hard time about needing a lesson in chivalry. Even the slightest slip up by Jay would get pointed out despite Jay’s best efforts, including the several times he gave Bobbi a hand into his pickup with the doors about 3 feet off the ground.
At one point I told Jay to watch out if Bobbi ever spent time with my son, she would learn how a lady should be treated. Because he has been taught all the proper lessons.
Today walking through the airport I noticed a mother standing near me with her son and daughter. The first word I heard were from the son telling his sister to “SHUT UP” followed by a shove. The girl quickly cried foul and rightly objected to the shove.
I realize the Mom has a lot more information then I do and I am not going to judge any of the people involved. I don’t know what the sister said to make the brother think his advice and shove was warranted.
What I do know isn’t ok. A man doesn’t physically act out against a women. Never. It is a basic rule. It is an absolute.
So for the second day in a row the topic of how a man treats a woman was front and center in my life. Not to mention we are currently in the middle of an election between Donald Trump, who has had his treatment of women questioned, and Hilary Clinton, whose husband’s actions toward women, have evolved in a major issue.
My comparison of the two stories really ends there.
The theme is, how should a man treat a lady? (Rest assured Bobbi is mostly treated like a queen, it is why I was able to give Jay a hard time).
The second story sent my mind to spinning. Does this young man have an active dad to teach him important lessons in manhood? Is chivalry dead?
A mom don’t have the same impact as a dad on teaching a son chivalry. The best way to teach young men how to treat ladies is to have a real man both demonstrate and tell them what chivalry looks like. A single mom is going to struggle because she can’t model the behavior. Of course she can make sure she only has chivalrous men in her life. I understand in my example above a dad may have been only briefly gone and will address the subject when he returns or may be waiting at home to give junior a lesson on never pushing a women. Even if the women is an annoying older sister.
I hope my son lives up to the praise I gave him when talking to Jay and Bobbi. I hope I am modeling not only to him but that I have modeled to my daughters what they should be looking for in a husband.
I am raising independent daughters. They can handle themselves in society but I still want them to live in a world that includes both equal opportunity for women and chivalry. A life involving statements like “ladies first” and “you can have my seat mam”. Hopefully my daughters live in a world without glass ceilings and plenty of open doors. I just want some of those doors to have been opened by a man with the courtesy of letting them walk in first.
