Warning-Check Engine

As many of you may know I am the father of 3 wonderful children.  Last night Anne, my oldest daughter, came home from her part time job and announced "there is a little red light that looks like a car engine that has lit up on 'Ducky's' dashboard." 

First let me explain that "Ducky" is the name of the car she drives.  Anne believes everything should have a name.  At our house we have "Charlie" the phone charger, "George" the weatherman on our thermometer plus many other named items. It means you might hear things like I need to use Charlie or George says it is 105.  Outsiders might think we have about 15 people living at our house or think we have a staff of help.  We don't.  We just have a very fun set of children.

Back to the warning light.

I was very impressed that my daughter was showing the responsibility of noticing the warning lights and recognizing that something needs to be done about it.  I know plenty of people that are experiencing major car repairs and have told me things like, "that light has been on for a while and I wasn't sure what it meant" or "they figured it was nothing major." 

Whoops, time to get out the wallet.

I have found that when the lights first come on  it usually isn't clear what exactly the problem is and usually it isn't a major issue.  At least at the moment that warning light came on.  But if the warning light (sign) is ignored for too long things get serious/dangerous and sometimes things go past the point where the problem can be cheaply/easily fixed.

It made me reflect on warning (lights) signs that are part of our regular lives.  Not everything in life has a dashboard.  Often the warning signs come from the actions, words or emotions of others.  Very seldom does somebody say to you directly things like "you are hurting my feelings and I am planning to no longer be your friend."

By the time your wife says your aren't spending enough time at home you have missed plenty of warning signs.

My hope for Anne is that not only does she notice the signs on the dashboard of her cars but that she watches for the warning lights on the dashboard of life.

(The next step is for her to take care of her own warning lights but we will take one step at a time.)

Man Week-A Family Tradition

The past 5 days it has been ManWeek at the Chapin house.  Every year for the past few years the busy summer schedules at the Chapin house align so that my son, Mike, and I are the only people life at home. 

The dog is also male but I not sure that he is what I would consider a real man.  Not even in the canine sense but that is another blog. 

The circumstances that lead to ManWeek change from year to year. This year My Mom scheduled a trip to California with all her daughters and granddaughters.  I hope they enjoy the earthquakes, liberals, mudslides and organic food. 

During ManWeek the rules change at the Chapin house and allow for Mike and I just be man without worrying about the girls.  Bottom line.  We eat a lot of red meat, watch baseball and Mike goes shirtless (even during meals).

When he feels like making a noise.  He makes it.

The movie selection during ManWeek Pirates of the Caribbean, Real Steel and Man on a Ledge.  Blood, guts, no tears!!!

What we do changes from year to year.  For example when Mike was 11 we drove to Major League Baseball games around the Midwest and talked about the “facts of life” in the car.  I would guess Mike would tell you that was a low light on the ManWeek plan.

ManWeek is so tough that one year it resulted in a broken hand!  During a baseball game when Mike was 12 he broke his hand.

This year we had a party.  We invited all the men associated with Mike baseball over for a pool party.  A total of 27 men showed up, eat red meat and enjoyed life together.

ManWeek is a very important part of our lives.  Could be said that it is the most important week of the year.  But it runs deeper than red meat, no shirts and baseball. 

It is about being a real man.  And if you know me you know that outside of a personal relationship with God, being a man is the most important thing in life.  How I manage people at work, interact with people and coach baseball all center around the concept of manhood and what it should look like.

When Mike leaves home someday I want to make sure he is a man, a real man.

A real man takes care of himself.  He can wash his own clothes, cook his own food and organizes his own life.  Our house is just as clean as Sue and girls left it, the clothes are washed and we are well feed.  If we  needed something we took care of it.  Steak needs garlic beard.  Since we were out we invented our own.

I repeat a real man takes care of himself.  When he breaks his hand or his son breaks his hand he doesn’t freak out.  He doesn’t need mom to come home from Florida.  A real man deals with the situations that he is dealt.  If he is hurt it is ok to let others know but it isn’t ok to become a burden to others or to let it start a pity party. 

A real man sets his priorities correctly.  When your son breaks his hand you adjust your work schedule.  Trip to Denver is cancelled.  Family comes before work and everything else.

A real man can manage his own schedule and get himself ready.  Who packs your lunch for a baseball game?  Who makes sure the thing you need are washed and ready?  The real man does it himself.  If you have spent any amount of time with me you have heard me ask “is your mother coming over?” Then when I get an inquisitive look I follow up with “then maybe you should take care of this yourself.” 

A real man takes time for God.

A real man looks out for his own health.  Because Mike had baseball games (a seven hour event because of pregame warm-ups, drive and the game itself) or work every day Mike had to make sure he was getting food and sleep.

A real man goes to work.  Now that Mike has a job he continues to work regardless of the massive time spent on baseball and with friends.

Our conversations over the years both inside and outside of ManWeek have left it clear that a real men put other people first and treats everybody especially women with respect. The “facts of life” covered a lot more than the “birds and bees.”

A real man has other men in his life that he surrounds himself with men that lift him up rather than bring him down.  Mike and I often discuss whether or not a certain person brings out the best or worst in him.  Sue and I have made it clear to all our children that it is important that they are open and honest with other people and that their friends are the type of people that will hold them accountable.

A party with 27 guys drove that point home very clearly.  Two nights of harmless fun with friends that can be trusted also drives home that points. 

Obviously the girls are gone during ManWeek but I try to make sure the lessons are present year-round. 

Why?

Because if you want to get married to one of my daughters you better be a real man.  In fact if you want to get married to my daughter you might have a survive a few ManWeeks to earn the right to be considered.   That is why at the top of this blog I said it was the second most important thing in life.  Marriage and family should come first and they do.  But being a good husband and father are key elements to being a real man.  If not really a man you will won’t be able to be a good husband or father. 

Is ManWeek fun?  You bet.  It is great to be a real man and it needs to celebrated.

Are we happy to have the girls back?  You bet.

Tonight they return just in time for supper.  The menu.  Hamburgers!

Some parts of ManWeek are hard to give up. (Mike will put on a shirt and I’ll pause the Red Sox game until we are done eating.)

Great it is July and it is already Election Season.

2012 is an election year.  Depending on where you live you have already begun to experience an onslought of advertising for various candidates. Right now I am in Washington DC and if you turn on the TV you get to see a burodge out Senatoral and Presidental ads.  Experts tell us that the Presidental election will likely come down to how Virginians vote.  (Most Virginians get their TV coverage out of the DC market.) I realize it can be anoying to be apart of the politcal season but voting is an important part of being an American.  People have died to preserve that right, the least we can do is exercise the right to votes and encourage the people around us to do the same. ABC has set up a website that helps educate people on issues that invovle the construction industry.  The site also helps people get information on how to register to vote. I encourage you to encourage others to vote.  This website will help you just that. ABCvotes.com