A Father's Christmas

As a father I went into this Christmas season hoping to do something more meaning than past years for our family.  Sue and I had planned to get the usual amount of gifts for our children and do all the typical traditions that we as a family always enjoy but I wanted to add another level of spirituality to our Christmas this year.

I prayed about it and spent quite a bit of brain power trying to come up with something but as I got ready to read the Christmas passage on Christmas morning I had less to offer then Linus from the Peanuts cartoon. 

So I read Luke 2 aloud like every other Christmas morning and when I was done I set down my Bible and started to others for their reflections on the Christmas Story. 

I didn't know what to expect by opening the topic up to the group.  Although there isn't a sinigular correct answer but there are some wrong answers to the question "how does the Christmas story impact you?" 

Our youngest daughter, Sara, was first in line to answer the question.  She quickly and without reservation said that this year the truth of Christmas had taken on extra meaning for her.  She said her 8th grade Bible class went over the story in great detail and that the study had made it seem more real.  "It wasn't just the same old story." 

Wow.  Once again I was learning from a 14 year girl.  I was overjoyed.  My prayers had been answered.  The Chapin family was going to add another level of spirituality to our Christmas this year.

But we weren't done yet. 

Grab the Kleenex.  

I still had 2 more children left to share. 

Next up was Anne, our oldest daughter.  She said she always found Mary to be the most interesting.  "Mary is a girl about my age and here she is the this strange situation." 

I thought to myself this is getting better and better.  My young daughter linking with the young girl in the story.  We had from 2 of the 3 children and both had moved me. 

The last of my children to share was our son, Mike.  He quickly added that the part of the story that stood out most to him was Joseph. Mike expressed how hard it must have been for Joseph to do the right thing in such a tough spot.  Joseph could have just walked away from Mary but that was wrong.  Once again I was moved by the power of God. 

My 16 year old son was relating to the part of the story about what it meant to be a true man. 

I was now just sitting there shaking my head.  I couldn't believe it.  My three children had all just shared from their hearts and in the process expanded the Christmas story for everybody in the room.  Plus they relayed their stories to me in a way that blew me away.  Each had selected from themselves that exact lesson I would have wanted them to learn.  (If I used the word proud I would tell you right now about how proud I am of our children.  Look back a couple of blogs to "A Group of Lions" to see way I don't say proud.)

Emmanuel added his reflections on the wiseman from the east and Sue pointed out how well the whole story fit together but I was the reflections of our three children that had impacted me the most. My prayers had been answered.  Not just my immediate prayer of adding another level of spirituality but my parenthood long prayer of raising children that sought after God. 

We continued to have a great conversation about the Christmas Story and how it impacted all of us and discussed it from many different angles but it was our children's opening statements that carried the day. 

I got some really great gifts from a lot of different people.  But the 15 minutes after breakfast were better then the sweaters, books, shoes, ties, luggage and other things all added together. 

I close this blog with the same comment that I used to close the conversation on Christmas morning.  My favorite part about the Christmas Story is that it is just the beginning.  Christmas leads to Easter morning.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas.  Hopefully everybody will have the chance to celebrate Christmas with family and friends as well as have a chance to celebrate the birth of Jesus. 

Over the holiday I hope you also have the chance to attend a church service that puts the entire season into the proper perspective. 

A Group of Lions

A bunch of dogs is a pack.  Same with wolves.  Cattle and bison come in herds.  Fish swim is schools.  Ants like the Americans of the 1700's live in colonies. When we talk about the troops we are usually talking people that serve in the armed forces and not about a collection of baboons.  It is a  flock of birds and a Swarm of bees.  The Cornhuskers are better at football then the Jackrabbits but that likely has nothing to do with why a group of Jackrabbits is called a husk.  Some things in life are considered a labour of love but few can claim to love group of moles.  I am seldom sick.but if I ever tell you I have fever you can assume I'm not talking about more then one stingray. 

Let face it the English language for some reason has a variety of names for a group of animals depending on what animal the group consists of but enough talk of dogs, moles, ants, stingrays and baboons.  The word for today is pride and again I am not talking about lions.

A while ago a friend of mine and a former co worker of mine, Bruce Kaihoi did what I considered to extensive research on the subject of pride.  Bruce and I had been at a meeting earlier where the subject of pride had come up several times.  That meeting prompted Bruce to find out what the Bible said about the subject of pride.

As background information let me tell you about what Bruce came to see as the two sides of pride.  The positive side.  We are all familiar with the concept of being proud of your children or taking pride in your work.  They are both very positive ideas.  Nobody thinks negatively of somebody that says "I take great pride in what others think of me."

Although at the same the words pride and proud have a negative side to them.  A side very few of us like to see others reveal to us.  Pride is often tied to stubbornness.  The concept of a proud and stubborn man that is set in his ways isn't one very many people deal with.  How about a person that is so proud they won't apologize for something they have done?  Would you like them over for dinner.  We have all heard that "pride comes before the fall."  Not really a positive thought is it. In this context humble is good and proud is bad.

So Bruce, who would go on to become a pastor later in life, set out to find out what the Bible had to say about pride.  He took notes and shared them with me.  There is no shortage of references and if you want to look for yourself try these Biblical references as a sample.  Habakkuk 2:4, James 4:6, Daniel 5:20, Jeremiah 48:29, Isaiah 13:11, Luke 1:51, Philippians 1:26, 1 Samuel 2:3, plus many times in Proverbs and Psalms.  The theme is consistent.  Pride is bad.  Best summed up by Proverbs 16:5 "Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; Assuredly, he will not be unpunished."  When the focus is on you (man) the Bible condemns pride.  There are dozens of cases.

There are few times that pride is shown in a positive light in the Bible such as in 2 Corinthians 1:14 when Paul says "just as you also partially did understand us, that we are your reason to be proud as yo also are ours, in the day of the Lord Jesus."  When you read the verse in it's entire context you see the reference is to God.  The focus is God.   

Are you now thinking so what is your point?

My point is that pride often focuses on man and the Bible teaches that focusing on man isn't Godly.  I have taken that to such an extreme that I have taken the word out of my vocabulary.  It is very hard.  Often I want to tell my kids "I am proud of you" but I don't.  I have to find a different way to say the same thing.  I have to say things like "I am impressed with the way you have chosen to live your life."

I am not suggesting that everybody take the word out of their vocabulary.  That is up to you and perhaps pride isn't a very big stumbling block for you.  Pride is a stumbling block for me so I have taken this extreme step.

I would suggest everybody study what the Bible has to say on the subject.  Bruce's study has had a dynamic impact on my life.  I hope it has made me more God focused and less man focused.  Bruces' lesson is always in the back of my mind and for that I am forever thankful.

So when I am talking about pride it means one of two things, a group of lions or the opposite of being humble. 

If you want to look up more animal names you can check out. http://www.hintsandthings.co.uk/kennel/collectives.htm .  Good Luck.

Regrets, Joys and a Hope for the Future

Tradition has it that in addition to celebrating the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years holidays during this time of year typically brings a time of reflection on the year that has been.  That time of reflection usually brings me three emotions. 

1. Regrets or sadness.  When looking back over a year's time I always think of somethings that I wish had gone differently, the loss of loved ones or the end of some phase of life. (Saying some that hurt another person, not spending time with a certain person or a children moving away.)
2. Joy and happiness.  When looking back over a year's time I always think of things that went well and things that I am thankful for in life. (Baseball season, a promotion at work, my wife or a new bike.)
3. Hope for the future.  When I look back I think of how I would like to either improve a phase of life or perhaps something I would like to do again because I found it to be a success in the past.  (Reading more books, learning to cook better or going to more of my kids events.)

The third element is really goal setting. 

Tradition has it that we make "New Year Resolutions."  Some people embrace this process and do it faithfully every year.  They are committed to self improvement and are committed to having a plan for the future.

Other people dread the idea of a system that only seems to be set up for failure.

Television, radio and Internet advertising for weight loss, quiting smoking and other life changing programs come at us full force.  I personally am not sure what I hate more New Year ads that make me feel guilty about how I live my life or political ads that make me want to vote for none of the above.  (The answer: neither, what I hate the most is trying to watch sports while every other minute I have to watch a middle age couple dance in the kitchen, hold hands while jumping off the deck or sit in matching bath tubes).

I am neutral on the idea of New Year's resolutions.  If you want to lose weight or quit smoking there is no time like today or April 17 or August 3 or November 19.  The sooner you end what you consider a bad lifestyle choice the better.  Waiting for a magic date is only going to hurt you. 

But I do like the idea of goal setting.  The start of the year is the perfect time for that.  It gives you a good time frame to measure your progress.  For example if you want to save money and establish a rainy day fund, New Years is the perfect time.  You can establish that by next year at this time I want to have $2,500 in savings.  Then go about your year knowing that at the end of each month you will need to raise the total by about $200. 

If you have a project that needs to be done around the house but can't be started until summer time now is the time to set the goal.  Then you can make sure you don't comment yourself to something that interferes with that goal.  If you wait for late spring to set a goal for a summer project you might have over committed your.

(Remember you are in control of your goals and not vis versa.  If you get to late spring and you want to change your mind you should.  It is your life.  But if you set the goal you will have the flexibility to change it later.  If you don't have a goal you likely will have gotten yourself into to so many things you will have no freedom to change.)

You might be wondering why I am writing this at the beginning of December and not at New Year's time.  My reasons are simple. 

• It is a process that deserves a lot of time for reflection and the sooner you start the better you will do at having goals that matter to you.  The more your goals matter to you the more likely you are to accomplish them. 
• It is a process that should be thought out.  So give yourself about a month to let ideas run into and out of your head. 
• Finally goal setting should be influenced by a wide look at life.  Typically the Thanksgiving and Christmas season gives you a lot of time with your family and exploring/practicing your faith.  Both of those items should have a strong influence on where your future priorities lie. 

After you have set your personal and family goals it would be a great time to set some goals for you work life.  If you work at Willmar Electric it is require of you to have a daily goal.  Most positions at Willmar Electric also require annual goals.

And the bottom line is establishing goals really is just making sure your priorities are in line with the life you think you should be living.

Good Luck.