Sometimes it is the title that is the most fun to write. This week The Clash win. Otis Redding (Sittin on the Dock of the Bay), Styx (Come Sail away) and Christopher Cross (Sailing) lose out.
It was almost 8 years ago that my wife, Sue, and I made the decision to move our family to Nebraska. Anybody that knows us knows that it is a decision we have never regretted. But making that tough decision and the subsequent move has taught me more about life then I ever would've realized.
At lunch today while talking my friend, Barry Lockard, about life I was reminded of one the "moving to Nebraska life lessons" I will never forget.
It comes from a comment made by my friend, Brad Rice. Brad is a consultant and as a consultant he gets paid to be smart and give advice. I have used Brad as an advisor on several occasions and paid him for those services but it was something he said as a friend (for free) that has stuck with me and made the greatest impact.
Brad has a twin brother, Bryan. Shortly before I moved to Nebraska Bryan had also moved away from Willmar because of a promotion at work.
So with that background let me get to the advice, finally.
When I told Brad I was moving to Nebraska he said he "felt sorry for himself."
I replied that I didn't know that my leaving should should leave him lonely and that he had plenty of friends and family still in Willmar.
Brad said "I know but what worries me is that I might be the last one left on the dock."
Wow.
I remember thinking, but for once not saying "he is right. It would really stink to be the last guy left on the dock while everybody else is off pursuing their dreams."
Now neither Brad or I would suggest that people go off willy-nilly chasing every rainbow they set their eyes on. The trouble is some people get stuck in ruts so deep they can't see out of them.
After sharing this quote during today's discussion about how we go about raising our children and how to release them into the great big world of adulthood Barry gave me further insight into why the dock analogy works so well.
It is the difference between driving a car and sailing on the open waters. Because as long as we stay on land we have signs and signals that tell us when to stop and go. We can stop and ask for directions from anybody that is close to us at the time. In Barry's words "when we you are sailing you have to learn how to handle the storms of life. You need to be able to know what to do when it is calm and no wind is present to move your sails." You need to be able to know what direction to go in without a clear path. On the open seas there is seldom anybody around to ask for directions. You have to figure it out based on the tools and knowledge you at your disposal. (There are very few cell towers out on the open seas.)
Brad isn't alone the dock and likely never will be. He has plenty of people hanging out with him and because he is open to the idea of getting on a boat I know that he will get on a boat when the right one stops by.
Frank Gomes got on a boat a few years before me. My friends Bruce Kaihoi, Dave Ostercamp and Kenny King got on different boats that the Lord sent to pick them up and now are sailing in uncharted waters. My brother Justin got on a "boat" that took him from Texas and after about 15 months a different "boat" took him back to Minnesota. (It is tough to sail from Minnesota to Texas and back!) My friend Jay Tornquist has been an several boats over the years and now back where he started. Bryan Rice has taken several boats since the one that caused such profound wisdom from his twin brother. My Dad is sailing into retirement. Steve Gradner, Misty Lauer, Beth Moore, Butch Mellom and Trista Selander, all have sailed into my life after leaving secure ports in other parts of the world.
Another lesson that came from that same line of thinking was lunch I had in Minnesota last fall. The afore mentioned Frank Gomes, Jay Tornquist, Kenny King, Dave Ostercamp and I all met for lunch in the Northern Suburbs of St. Paul last year. I think it has been over 10 years since the 5 of us friends had been together but our friendships were still there. We picked up right where we left off. Each of us are on our journey but we didn't miss a beat.
What I am trying to get at?
You can't always wait until you are 100% sure, life is an uncertain thing. Pray about it. If God seems to be giving you a nudge leave the dock and get on boat. Don't be the last guy standing at the dock!!!
Then just because you left the dock doesn't mean you are deserting others. They are still your friends. Life doesn't allow you to go backwards. You can either stand still or move forward.
(Maybe next week I will go into detail and tell you about my favorite sermon or my Dad can add a comment to this blog that says "If You Want to Walk on the Water You have to Get Out of the Boat.")
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